Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Randomize
