I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
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