Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
