did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Randomize