Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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