First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
