There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
