And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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