real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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