The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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