they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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