you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
