I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
