It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Randomize
