well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just pee around me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
