Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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