I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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