What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
