I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
