It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
Randomize
