did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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