One girl and one boy is just not enough.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
