"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Drunk is not a location!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
