I think my vagina is haunted
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize