i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
