I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You pole danced in your parka.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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