Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
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