i don't plan on having that self control this summer
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
