Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
