I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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