btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Randomize
