Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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