I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Pooping to opera.
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