if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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