hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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