i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
