if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Randomize
