Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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