why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
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