I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Come see our sink grown plant.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
