doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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