just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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