you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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