Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
