He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
