there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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