some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
