he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
