worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
