You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
