She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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