So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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