idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
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