He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
