he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
