I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
