No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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