my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
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