my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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