Cold hands, warm shart.
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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