she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
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This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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