Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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