i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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