whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
