HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize