Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
