All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
The air was thick with penises
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
