You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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