Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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