I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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