so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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