Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
